{"id":482,"date":"2022-10-13T09:00:50","date_gmt":"2022-10-13T09:00:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cube-ld.co.uk\/blog\/?p=482"},"modified":"2022-09-14T17:55:16","modified_gmt":"2022-09-14T17:55:16","slug":"building-rapport-through-questioning-and-active-listening","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cube-ld.co.uk\/blog\/building-rapport-through-questioning-and-active-listening\/","title":{"rendered":"Building rapport through questioning and active listening"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">So, you\u2019ve <a href=\"https:\/\/cube-ld.co.uk\/blog\/making-a-good-first-impression-tips-for-building-rapport\/\">made a great first impression <\/a><\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">and now you need to build a lasting connection by establishing good rapport. Using questions and active listening are techniques you can use to help with this.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Useful questions to build rapport<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">You might think all kinds of questions are useful when building rapport, but that\u2019s not the case. Here are the ones you need to focus on.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Open questions.<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"auto\"> These are questions you can&#8217;t answer \u2018yes\u2019 or \u2018no\u2019 to and help initiate conversations. Try asking how, why, what, where, what, when, who, questions to show interest and get other people talking.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Probing questions. <\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">These can follow an open question and ask for more detail. For example, \u2018Tell me a little bit more about this particular aspect\u2019<\/span> <span data-contrast=\"auto\">or \u2018I&#8217;m really interested in that and the impact it had on you\u2019.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Summarising and reflective questions. <\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">These check your understanding. For example, \u2018What I&#8217;m hearing is that you&#8217;re really interested in this particular topic, but I just want to double check\u2026\u2019<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;469777462&quot;:[916,1832,2748,3664,4580,5496,6412,7328,8244,9160,10076,10992,11908,12824,13740,14656],&quot;469777927&quot;:[0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0],&quot;469777928&quot;:[1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1]}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Closed questions<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">. These questions look for a \u2018yes\u2019 or \u2018no\u2019 answer and are useful where you need to establish a fact. For example, \u2018So the deadline for the project is Monday?\u2019.\u00a0 They&#8217;re also useful for taking control of the conversation by pulling the questioning back to the theme you were hoping to talk about.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;469777462&quot;:[916,1832,2748,3664,4580,5496,6412,7328,8244,9160,10076,10992,11908,12824,13740,14656],&quot;469777927&quot;:[0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0],&quot;469777928&quot;:[1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1]}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Unhelpful questions<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;469777462&quot;:[916,1832,2748,3664,4580,5496,6412,7328,8244,9160,10076,10992,11908,12824,13740,14656],&quot;469777927&quot;:[0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0],&quot;469777928&quot;:[1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1]}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">There are a couple of question types that won\u2019t help you or could actively hinder you from building rapport.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;469777462&quot;:[916,1832,2748,3664,4580,5496,6412,7328,8244,9160,10076,10992,11908,12824,13740,14656],&quot;469777927&quot;:[0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0],&quot;469777928&quot;:[1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1]}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Leading questions<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\"> encourage the other person to give you the answer that you want and can be perceived as intimidating when accompanied by body language such as nodding. For example, \u2018You&#8217;re okay if we don&#8217;t do that, aren&#8217;t you?\u2019.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;469777462&quot;:[916,1832,2748,3664,4580,5496,6412,7328,8244,9160,10076,10992,11908,12824,13740,14656],&quot;469777927&quot;:[0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0],&quot;469777928&quot;:[1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1]}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Multiple questions<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\"> are commonly used by journalists and politicians. Asking a three-part question to try and trip somebody up isn\u2019t a great way to establish a positive relationship. By asking a multiple question, you&#8217;re only likely to get a person\u2019s concentration on the very first and last thing you say; the middle bit might get lost.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;469777462&quot;:[916,1832,2748,3664,4580,5496,6412,7328,8244,9160,10076,10992,11908,12824,13740,14656],&quot;469777927&quot;:[0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0],&quot;469777928&quot;:[1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1]}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Active listening to build rapport<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;469777462&quot;:[916,1832,2748,3664,4580,5496,6412,7328,8244,9160,10076,10992,11908,12824,13740,14656],&quot;469777927&quot;:[0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0],&quot;469777928&quot;:[1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1]}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Human beings aren\u2019t that good at listening. We must make a conscious effort to listen actively in order to build good rapport and communicate effectively.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;469777462&quot;:[916,1832,2748,3664,4580,5496,6412,7328,8244,9160,10076,10992,11908,12824,13740,14656],&quot;469777927&quot;:[0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0],&quot;469777928&quot;:[1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1]}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">In his best-selling book <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Habits-Highly-Effective-People-Powerful\/dp\/0743269519\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u2018The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People\u2019<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">, Stephen Covey says that most effective communicators are great listeners. He also lists <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.forbes.com\/sites\/forbescoachescouncil\/2020\/02\/04\/the-sixth-commandment-of-highly-effective-leadership-be-an-effective-listener\/?sh=7dbfd3257291\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">five<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> levels of listening<\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">:\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;469777462&quot;:[916,1832,2748,3664,4580,5496,6412,7328,8244,9160,10076,10992,11908,12824,13740,14656],&quot;469777927&quot;:[0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0],&quot;469777928&quot;:[1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1]}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Ignoring<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">. You\u2019re distracted and not listening at all.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;469777462&quot;:[916,1832,2748,3664,4580,5496,6412,7328,8244,9160,10076,10992,11908,12824,13740,14656],&quot;469777927&quot;:[0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0],&quot;469777928&quot;:[1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1]}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Pretending<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">. You\u2019re using the right body language but not listening. You might be nodding along but your mind is elsewhere, and if questioned about what&#8217;s just been said, you would struggle to answer.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;469777462&quot;:[916,1832,2748,3664,4580,5496,6412,7328,8244,9160,10076,10992,11908,12824,13740,14656],&quot;469777927&quot;:[0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0],&quot;469777928&quot;:[1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1]}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Selective. <\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">You\u2019re only listening to the bits that interest you and switching off for the rest.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;469777462&quot;:[916,1832,2748,3664,4580,5496,6412,7328,8244,9160,10076,10992,11908,12824,13740,14656],&quot;469777927&quot;:[0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0],&quot;469777928&quot;:[1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1]}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Attentive<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">. You\u2019re paying attention and listening to everything. <\/span><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">THIS is the type of listening we really need for building rapport.<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\"> You&#8217;re actively taking in the information, repeating it back and not thinking about anything else.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;469777462&quot;:[916,1832,2748,3664,4580,5496,6412,7328,8244,9160,10076,10992,11908,12824,13740,14656],&quot;469777927&quot;:[0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0],&quot;469777928&quot;:[1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1]}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Empathetic<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">. You\u2019re concentrating and listening to understand the intent behind the message. This is most relevant in a counselling setting for very specific conversations.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;469777462&quot;:[916,1832,2748,3664,4580,5496,6412,7328,8244,9160,10076,10992,11908,12824,13740,14656],&quot;469777927&quot;:[0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0],&quot;469777928&quot;:[1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1]}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">We should all strive for attentive listening when rapport building, and there are three ways you can demonstrate this:<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;469777462&quot;:[916,1832,2748,3664,4580,5496,6412,7328,8244,9160,10076,10992,11908,12824,13740,14656],&quot;469777927&quot;:[0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0],&quot;469777928&quot;:[1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1]}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Verbal responses.<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\"> Verbal acknowledgement is especially important if having a conversation on the phone. Yes, no, I understand, and summarising questions, are all ways of letting the other person know you are listening.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;469777462&quot;:[916,1832,2748,3664,4580,5496,6412,7328,8244,9160,10076,10992,11908,12824,13740,14656],&quot;469777927&quot;:[0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0],&quot;469777928&quot;:[1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1]}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Nonverbal responses<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\">. With face-to-face interactions you can use your body language and facial expressions; eyebrows, nodding, eye contact, for example, to show you are engaged in the conversation.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;469777462&quot;:[916,1832,2748,3664,4580,5496,6412,7328,8244,9160,10076,10992,11908,12824,13740,14656],&quot;469777927&quot;:[0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0],&quot;469777928&quot;:[1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1]}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Suspending judgement.<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\"> Don\u2019t assume what people are going to say or interrupt them before they&#8217;ve finished speaking. Listen to everything they have to say.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;469777462&quot;:[916,1832,2748,3664,4580,5496,6412,7328,8244,9160,10076,10992,11908,12824,13740,14656],&quot;469777927&quot;:[0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0],&quot;469777928&quot;:[1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1]}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/cube-ld.co.uk\/contact.php\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Cube Learning and Development<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"auto\"> delivers tailor-made training and development programmes for your teams along with personal coaching to help with effective communication and presentation. For a no-obligation chat about this and our other training, call Chris Burton on 07879 602002.\u202f\u202f\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Featured image by https:\/\/www.pexels.com\/@olyakobruseva\/<\/p>\n<p><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So, you\u2019ve made a great first impression and now you need to build a lasting connection by establishing good rapport. Using questions and active listening are techniques you can use to help with this.\u00a0\u00a0 Useful questions to build rapport\u00a0 You might think all kinds of questions are useful when building rapport, but that\u2019s not the case. Here are the ones you need to focus on.\u00a0 Open questions. These are questions you can&#8217;t answer \u2018yes\u2019 or \u2018no\u2019 to and help initiate conversations. Try asking how, why, what, where, what, when, who,<span class=\"excerpt-hellip\"> [\u2026]<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":488,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,144,10,143],"tags":[140,141,134,133,136,139,137,135,129,138,142],"class_list":["post-482","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coaching","category-customer-service-skills","category-personal-coaching","category-personal-development","tag-active-listening","tag-communicate","tag-connection","tag-first-impression","tag-listening","tag-multiple","tag-probing","tag-questions","tag-rapport","tag-reflective","tag-verbal"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cube-ld.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/482","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cube-ld.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cube-ld.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cube-ld.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cube-ld.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=482"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/cube-ld.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/482\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":492,"href":"https:\/\/cube-ld.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/482\/revisions\/492"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cube-ld.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/488"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cube-ld.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=482"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cube-ld.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=482"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cube-ld.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=482"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}